What up my niggers and niggerettes?
My name Ya Girl Kool Emcee White Chicky-V, yo.
Niggers be getting that twisted anâ€™ shit. Only wanâ€™ take the middle part anâ€™ donâ€™ be tryinâ€™ to say the whole thing. If you say any of the shit, you gotta say all the shit. My name ainâ€™t no damn Emcee White Chicky-V. Itâ€™s Ya Girl Kool Emcee White Chicky-V, yo. And yes, the comma and the yo, lowercase, is a part of it.
Anâ€™ a niggerette like me can always tell when you fools is sayinâ€™ it wrong. A comma denotes a pause in a sentence or a phrase, yo.
So you gotta pause. Ya Girl Kool Emcee White Chicky-Vâ€”Pauseâ€”yo. Otherwise itâ€™s like you talking to someone named Ya Girl Kool Emcee White Chicky-V. And as we previously discussed, that ainâ€™ me. Donâ€™ be callinâ€™ me out my name, yo. Say my name like my momma intended.
Yeah, thatâ€™s my real name. The one my momma gave me. Ya Girl Kool Emcee White Chicky-V, yo Smith. I’m the only bitch whose name is a dependent clause, yo. I donâ€™t know why she named me dat, yo. I ainâ€™ never ask her. She hardcore. Locked up in San Quentin right now. She so tough they locked her up with the men and she straight running that shit. I ainâ€™ never ask her why she name me what she name me cuz she killed a man for asking dat shit. Datâ€™s why she locked up. I started to ask once when I was visitinâ€™ her stankinâ€™ ass and she give me this look like she was gonna break the 2-inch glass and snap my neck, yo.
I guess Big Momma White Chicky-V want me to be a rapper. Want me to get all that Gucci Gucci Louie Louie Fendi Fendi Prada anâ€™ shit. And datâ€™s what happened. Iâ€™m jusâ€™ a white girl from the hood who grew up to be a famous rapper and now niggers want to defame me. They hatinâ€™. Straight hatinâ€™. I be digressinâ€™, yo. Getting all discursive anâ€™ shit. Let me get to my point. Why Iâ€™m out here speakinâ€™ how Iâ€™m speakinâ€™.
Some of yâ€™alls is mad about me using the word nigger. Like I ainâ€™ earned the right. You donâ€™ know my struggle. Sometimes I walk into a deli and I order a bagel anâ€™ shit and they donâ€™ be toastinâ€™ it cuz they think niggers from the hood donâ€™ like that toasted shit. Make me wanâ€™ to get mad and start wreckinâ€™ shit. Iâ€™m from the hood, yo. Iâ€™m gangsta. I shot more sheriffs than Eric Clapton. Iâ€™m stupidfreshdope. Thatâ€™s why I got the right to say the word.
People keep sayinâ€™ Iâ€™m actinâ€™ like a modern-day minstrel. Like Al JolsonÂ anâ€™ shit. Like Al Jolson ever could bust rhymes the way I bust them, yo. I ainâ€™ singing no nigger songs wearing no blackface. Wait, holâ€™ up. I need to write that down. Man, me in blackface on my album cover anâ€™ in my videos anâ€™ on stage? Daaaaam! Datâ€™s hot, son.
You know who yâ€™all need to get mad at? Yâ€™all need to get mad at them suburban niggers who be sayinâ€™ dat shit. That offend me. Sometimes I hear a black person from some little fuckinâ€™ cul-de-sac community talking about nigger this and nigger that and I be gettinâ€™ so mad like, Nigger, you donâ€™t know my struggle. You ainâ€™t from the hood. You ainâ€™t stupidfreshdope. You donâ€™t know how to kick mad styles. What right you got saying that shit? Huh? You donâ€™t know how my people have suffered. People like me canâ€™t get no jobs. My people got triple the unemployment of our non-stupidfreshdope counterparts. Iâ€™m too gangsta for employment, yo. I go into fill out applications and niggers be hatinâ€™. Lookinâ€™ at me like Iâ€™m some alien, yo. Haters hatinâ€™ on me cuz Iâ€™m so stupidfreshdope. Mad folks be discrimihatinâ€™. Black folks is the ones whoâ€™s the most racist against my people. I just be shakin my head at the irony, yo.
All them black folks hatinâ€™ on me about this nigger-word probably went to college anâ€™ shit. Probably made the deanâ€™s list. That ainâ€™ being on some real nigger shit. You want to know how real I am? Iâ€™m so real that even though I wrote this shit, I canâ€™t read it cuz I donâ€™t know how to read. Thatâ€™s some real shit.
Donâ€™ get me started. I could stand here kickinâ€™ mad science to you niggers all day, but I ainâ€™ gonna do that. Iâ€™ma let you stand around and be all ignorant anâ€™ shit. But I will say this: I got a album cominâ€™ out. Itâ€™s stupidfreshdope. I call it: On Some Real Nigger Shit To the Extreme StupidFreshDope Chillinâ€™ Ice Boyeee. Itâ€™s a problem. Instead of worrying about the words I say, you need to worry about that because a niggerette like me is about to blow up like that nigger Elvis and ainâ€™t nothinâ€™ you can do to stop it. Iâ€™ma leave you niggers on some shit like that. One. Bong. Peace. And all dat, shit. Peace.