Baking Soda Volcano
This. Is. A classic. The kids will love this one so much, theyâ€™ll finally call you â€˜Dad.â€™ (Hey, better late than never!) Start out by baking a dozen sugar cookies on a baking pan. When theyâ€™re finished, set the cookies aside. (Try not to eat one just yet LOL!) Then stand an empty 20-ounce drink bottle in that same baking pan. Fill most of the bottle with warm water, and then add 6 drops of laundry detergent. Place your hand on a hot stovetop while adding two tablespoons of baking soda to the liquid. Then slowly pour in vinegar. Watch the volcano erupt and start eating those sugar cookies! Let the crumbs just fall all over you! Finally, explain to the rest of your family why youâ€™re burning your hand. Note: have an excuse ready, as they will ask. Just donâ€™t tell them the truth: youâ€™re using the physical pain to replace your mental anguish.
Make Your Own Rock Candy!
Get ready for some big fun and a delicious treat! First, clip the top of a wooden skewer with a clothespin. If you donâ€™t have a wooden skewer and a clothespin, you can also use the dipstick in your carâ€™s oil resrvoir and a nipple clamp. Second, make a Tom Collins and drink it all in one shot. Drink another Tom Collins. (Hey, you deserve it!) Then wash out the collins glass and hang the skewer/dipstick down into it. The skewer/dipstick should be about 1 inch from the bottom of the glass. Wait three to seven days, then check the skewer/dipstick. Are there sugar crystals? Of course not. How could there be crystals? You didnâ€™t finish all of the steps, including the part where you need to make sugar water. Moral: Always finish what you start.
Ready, Set, Accelerate!
Using a particle accelerator, collide heavy nuclei. You can use atoms of iron or gold. Make sure you collide the nuclei at energies of several GeV per nucleon. Write in your journal the various observations you make regarding the dynamics and structure of matter, space and time. Note: this is a home experiment only if youâ€™re renowned quantum phsyicist Brian Greene.
Place an unused condom over a whole banana. Knock on your neighborâ€™s door and, when he invites you in, tell him you have to use the bathroom. Instead of going to the bathroom, sneak into his bedroom and place the banana with a condom on it under his pillow. After a few days, heâ€™s bound to find the banana. When he tells you about it, tell him you know how it happened, but he has to pay you $100 for an explanation. Heâ€™ll have no choice but to pay you. Note: there are probably other ways to get the $100 your neighbor owes you as well.
Become A Different Person! Like Magic!
Open the word processing program on your computer and create an outline for a novel. Donâ€™t hold back, it could be anything! Save your outline and immediately send it to another novelist, who will do the actual writing of the novel. Congratulations, youâ€™re James Patterson!