This Modern Writer: Confessional, I am a Bad Writer
[Roxane Gay / January 5th, 2010 / This Modern Writer ]I spend a lot of time talking about all the “interesting” and “quirky” things writers do when they submit to us so for the sake of fairness and in the interest of full disclosure, I will confess the writerly sins I have been known to commit. Gather round, friends.
I do not always read (regularly) or subscribe to magazines unto whom I submit my writing. I do my due diligence and if a magazine has content available online I try to read a few back issues but I do not get intimately acquainted with every single magazine where I send my writing and I’ll tell you something else–I don’t feel guilty about that. I know all the fancy writers only submit to magazines they love and respect and so on and that’s nice, but I’m a cheap date. I’ll send you my writing even if I simply like you.
I don’t have an extensive drafting process. Most of the time, I write a story in one or two sittings, let it mellow for a day, then submit it to a few magazines.
I have been known to send an editor a revised version of an accepted story. This is a shameful transgression, I know but in my defense, it is very difficult for me to let a story be, even after I have sent it into the world. My revising process, you see, takes place after I submit a given story.
I tell more than I show. I don’t even really understand what it means when an editor says “show more than tell.” It has been so long since I was kindergarten.
I can overwrite an ending. I think of The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King and how there were like seven endings, each one more ridiculous than the last and I try to channel that into my writing so that every loose or frayed end is neatly tied up.
I read Clive Cussler and Dan Brown and John Sanford and Danielle Steele (when she actually wrote her books) and other mass market pablum and I don’t consider such reading my “guilty pleasure” reading. I pretty much love the hell out of that kind of thing and feel not a single solitary ounce of guilt about it. Â Now, Clive Cussler’s books pretty much suck these days but in the 80s and 90s, his books were amazing and full of deep sea adventure and as a kid, I had the biggest crush on Dirk Pitt with his green eyes who is kind of old now and married and has these adult children, a boy and a girl who are twins who also work for the NUMA, the spawn of a romance Dirk had with a character in a much earlier book and it is all very complex and absurd but still, there is a fondness for Pitt’s adventures, you see. I also read People Magazine and Entertainment Weekly and ABC Soaps. I read smart stuff too but it’s the celebrity and soap opera gossip that bring me peace and joy.
To that end, I watch TV and movies more than I read. There’s just too much televisual greatness. Not only do we have the networks, there are the cable channels now putting out awesome shows and there’s the reality dreck like Jersey Shore that is so compelling and cannot be ignored. I am only human.
The saddest part of my Monday was realizing I forgot to record the new season of The Bachelor. I will rectify this oversight by watching it online on Tuesday.
I don’t always keep track of where I’ve sent what. I try to keep track of everything on Duotrope, but I am prone to submitting between 3 and 5 am and sometimes, I don’t have my wits about me and I fail to update my Submission Tracker.
Sometimes, I send an editor a new submission immediately upon receiving a rejection. This is a habit I have mostly broken myself of, but there was a time when I was so eager as to behave inconsiderately. I am deeply ashamed of having committed this particular sin again and again and seven days later… again.
There are times when I take rejection personally even though I know it’s not personal. I sulk and pout and stomp around my apartment like a petulant child. I rend my garments and shake my fists at the sky and make declarations (to my stuffed animals and my unfortunate friends) about how my genius is misunderstand. I vow to never send that editor my work again. Then I wake up in the morning, forget my sorrows and contradict myself.
I take acceptances personally too. Acceptance feels good. Â I mean, it’s not like my self-worth is tied up in acceptance (she says, lying through her teeth) but I do get a bit of a thrill.
I am now going to go read submissions with nary a complaint as penance. Please accept my confession.
I’d recently been getting very disillusioned with ‘writer blogs’ and sites lecturing on how to do things, how things should be done, on an endless loop – when, in my cynicism (but also, I have to say, my realism) I knew full well that the vast majority of these people didn’t practice what they preached.
This, on the other hand, was a wonderful and refreshing read. Thank you.
Vaughan, I was getting disillusioned too. I’m happy for all those perfect writers but I’m just not that girl.
i break the rules too.
I very frequently submit to magazines I have not become acquainted with.
When magazines tell me “it’s not the kind of work we’re looking for” I will generally send them more of the same kind of work.
Your honesty has made me feel better about myself as a human being.
I’m glad you enjoyed this! I’m glad I’m not alone in my sin.
I can relate to so much here. I suspect many of us can. I already have withdrawal symptoms from my “no submissions” policy. Thanks for your honesty and wit and fearlessness. Maybe I should return to watching TV …
Keep giving all you’ve got.
TV is the best consolation–always there, never judging. (Give in to your urge to submit. It’s ok, says the serpent.)
You’re awesome, Roxane…
Thank you, Eric!
There needs to be more of this. Honesty amongst writers is a great thing. Its wonderful to know that I am not alone in these things.
How long until you guys come out w/ shirts that say I <3 PANK? Let me know b/c I want one.
Thanks Roxane!
Pete, we’ll talk about such a t-shirt at our next meeting. And I agree… writers should be honest with each other. It will make everyone feel a little less alone.
We’re all guilty. I love it.
Indeed!
This list reminds me of masturbation in that everyone does it but no one will admit it. I’m sure 99% of writers are guilty of at least a couple of these. I know I am.
BTW, you should check out “Frank the Entertainer” on VH-1. Single NYC Italian guy living in his parents’ basement. Fifteen eligible bachelorettes MOVE IN WITH HIS FAMILY to compete to be his bride. It does not get any more awesome than that.
Laurie, when I read that bit about Frank the Entertainer I actually whispered, “Oh my god,” aloud and felt a frisson of joy along my spine.
this is great, roxane. the funny thing about something like becoming well acquainted with a journal before submitting, is that ultimately it’s impossible. people only have so much time (and in some cases so much money to spend on lit. journals) to become acquainted with them. what i’m more likely to do is take note of where writers whose work i love and identify with are getting their work published and submit there because of that. also, i have become acquainted with some great journals because of having my work in them. maybe that’s a bit backward but i love reading through a journal and thinking “wow, this place is awesome, i’m so glad i subbed and am a part of this”
Ok Roxane, since we’re being all honest and stuff…
I put a good book down to watch “The Real Housewives of…” pretty much Anywhere. My daughter says it’s “The Hills” for old people.
Haha! This is funny. Roxane, you are funny. I’m on my fourth hour of watching tennis (Hopman Cup in Australia). I take some rejections really, really personally and sometimes – they are. I just know it. I also masturbated today. Twice. (This happens when I can’t get out of bed, but I can’t sleep, either.) I used to send another story right away after rejections, too. All the time. Over and over again. The people over at One Story got five or so in a row! Hahaha. Now I don’t send them anything (and let my subscription lapse) and think…hmm, maybe it was something personal.
also, just in case the humor didn’t make it through the internet, I was joking about rejections actually being personal.
the ones i get are.
Roxane,
I had no idea it was bad form to submit immediately after receiving a rejection. I plan my weekends around submitting to PANK. I’m so embarrassed. What’s the generally acceptable amount of time between a rejection and a subsequent submission? I’m not saying I’ll comply – I just like to know when I’m behaving badly.
P.S.
DAMAGES starts the end of this month. For me, that means everything, including writing, must be rescheduled.
I love Damages. I don’t know that there is a rule of thumb but many editors consider it poor form for writers to submit immediately after a rejection. We need time to cleanse our palate, so to speak and many writers will send the same kind of writing over and over without perhaps getting that there’s something about that type of writing that isn’t resonating with us. At PANK, we instituted the 7-day no resubmit rule to try to alleviate some of this.
i hate that dependence on external validation, but i’m not sure i know one writer who doesn’t react to rejections/acceptances in the same manner. i wish the rejections got easier and the acceptances meant less.
(btw, the title of this post is so wrong.)
I don’t mind liking the validation, myself. I don’t let it control me. It’s just a nice little boost. Thanks!
“Sometimes, I send an editor a new submission immediately upon receiving a rejection.”
Guilty as charged. So true. Especially with electronic subs.
Good post, Roxane. I’m guilty of some of these things, too.
I recommend James Rollins and Lincoln Child/Douglas Prescott. If you know of any other books where treasure is found and Nazis get killed, post them.
You left out one particularly “shameful” transgression:
Sometimes I send out the same piece to multiple journals that have a “no simultaneous submission” policy.
Especially journals with that policy who expect me to wait 6-12 months for a response.
[...] good news. I want to be a good writer with good writing to send into the world. I am, perhaps, a bad [...]
Hilarious post. I linked to it on my blog.
Wonderful post. I just had to comment. Thanks for confessing with honesty! And let’s face it, there is some great TV out there that does our story skills good (sometimes!).
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