1. What would you like to see on a cake presented to you when it’s not your birthday?
Anything other than “Get Well Soon.”Â
2. How much of a difference would it make if you switched “Mom” for “Dad” as the poet? Â Would it turn into another one of those man chasing white whale stories or something different?
It would have been an entirely different story. The mother would have wound up lecturing her daughter on how men can’t be trusted, and they’d have both ended up eating Ben & Jerry’s “Chunky Monkey”Â while listening to Neil Diamond’s Â Hot August Night. I think we’ve all read that story before.
3. What couldn’t you live without in the event of a divorce?
Easy. The Fettuccini for Two at Olive Garden.
4. Does literary fiction always have to be real and sad? Â Does that help with the movie rights? Â Who would play the characters if I optioned the rights for a 90 minute indie film?
Well, few people want to read stories (or see films) where things go smoothly and everybody is happy and well-adjusted. Cast Colin Farrell as the dad, and Lindsay Lohan as the mom. I, with proper make-up, will play the daughter.
5. You’re the opposite of “Mom”. Â What would your life be like if you were like her in terms of your art?
For one thing, I’d smoke a lot. I’d be convinced that the Spanish guy who delivers pizza for Papa John’s has a crush on me. I’d sigh all the time, and at cocktail parties I’d act shocked when no one knew who the poet laureate of New Hampshire is.