Ask The Author: Stefanie Freele

In September, we published “Scantily Clad Submissive Women” by Stefanie Freele. It will bring you back to summer if you read it. It will bring you back to a lot of things if you read it. If you haven’t read it, and we published it in September, you are way behind and you should read it. Here, Stefanie brilliantly answers our questions. Be ready to have your Wednesday made.

1. How has nature been good to you?

Love to hike. Love to stand in the snow and watch it pile on me, watch it pile on everything, one flake on a time. In terms of aging, I’m really 92, but I look like I’m in my young 40’s. You’d never know. It is all that green tea I sip while hiking.

2. What is the worst pick up line you’ve heard? What is the worst pick up line you’ve used?

The worst perhaps is from my very own guy, who I live with, sleep in the same bed, father of our son, he chased me down and said, “You forgot to give me your number.” It was so fantastically bad, it worked.

3. What is the fact vs. fiction ratio in “Scantily Clad Submissive Women”?

73%. Fact: there is a huge percentage of men that think when a waitress is nice to them, it is because they want to marry them and clean their house starting with the laundry room. Fiction: If a waitress laughs at a male customer’s joke, this is evidence of how she wants to raise his kids from another woman starting this afternoon by picking them up from school, not because she wants a good tip.

4. How do you take inventory of someone’s body?

You start from the top and head south nodding frequently with approval, that is if you want to do it correctly, thorough, and in a peaceful fashion. If you are limited on time, merely scan the primary spots: earlobes, sternum, thumb.

5. What limb wouldn’t you mind having as a prosthetic?

I’m very partial to my limbs. We really like each other. Not interested in prosthesis (or is it prosthesi) of any sort. Thanks for the generous offer though.

6. Will the submissive one know I’m her man?

She’ll know if you give her the “I’ll-take-care-of-you-little-lump-o-sugar” eye. Practice it in the mirror. Try it on your friends.