Ask the Author: Salvatore Pane

Salvatore Pane’s lovely story appears in the November issue. He talks with us about the influence of science on his writing, bad Internet handles, living in a BioDome, and more.

1. How much fanfare would you like to be greeted with when accomplishing something?

From the ages of eight to 16, I played a lot of Final Fantasy games on my Super Nintendo and Playstation. And one thing I always loved is that whenever you won a battle in those games (which was pretty much every 35 seconds unless you really didn’t know what you were doing) a little song would play and all your guys would dance around and pump their fists in the air. I think the song was even called “Fanfare”. So yeah, whenever I finish my laundry or make it to the bus stop right before the bus leaves, I think everybody should drop what they’re doing, dance, and that SNES song should burst forth from the heavens.

2. How has science influenced your writing? What could science learn from fiction? What could fiction learn from science?

I am legitimately interested in science, but I know almost nothing about it except things I’ve learned from comic books and Star Wars movies. I didn’t even know our bodies made protein (crazy, right?!) until someone sat down and broke the news to me via diagram.

But I love science, and I love nonfiction books about science like The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. I keep using science in my writing so much because it’s something you don’t see a lot in literary fiction, or at the very least, I didn’t see much of it when I first started writing. When I began, most of my mentors handed me sad little domestic dramas (and I love those books! Nobody loves Yates and Carver and Bobbie Ann Mason more than me), but that’s an aspect of literary fiction I know I’m never going to excel at. I’m too interested in spaceships and video games and time travel and alternative history versions of Richard Nixon. I want my fiction to read like it was written in another dimension.

So what fiction could learn from science is maybe to go beyond the domestic drama and explore crazy outer space concepts. And vice versa? I guess science could learn to be a little more esoteric. It’s 2011. Where’s my hoverboard? Where’s my time machine? Why can’t I take a vacation in a parallel dimension yet?

3. What would your avatar look like?

I’m a total egomaniac so every avatar I’ve ever made looks just like me, or probably a better-dressed version of myself complete with laser rifles or flashy skateboards or what have you. I’m pretty easy to emulate fashion-wise. I teach a workshop and on the last day all the students came in dressed like me, and one thing it made me realize was that shit, I wear pretty much the same thing every day. Cardigans and ties and junk. So from now on I’m only wearing ascots. Ascots aren’t usually options for avatars but they really should be.

4. Which alcohol would you use to fuel an awkward sexual experience?

What alcohol haven’t I used to fuel an awkward sexual experience? I guess Four Loko might be a new frontier for me.

5. What is the worst Internet handle you’ve ever used?

Back in the 20th century there was this thing called AOL Instant Messenger. When I registered, I chose the handle sizSAL2K. That tells you everything you need to know about my high school experience.

6. Would you live in a Bio-Dome?

I would live in the 1996 film Bio-Dome starring Pauly Shore. I like his ’90s work. Encino Man. Son-in-Law. But Bio-Dome represents a high point. It’s one of those weird buddy comedies nobody makes anymore (remember Bill and Ted? remember Weekend at Bernie’s?). And I really wish they would. Kids today don’t even know who Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman are, and that’s an absolute shame. But I would never lower myself to live in any of Shore’s later movies. One time I rented Pauly Shore is Dead with my college girlfriend and we were just so disappointed. She changed after that. Had a dead look in her eyes. I blame Pauly Shore.