All Things Pankish

Ask the Author: Nick Kocz

[ / April 5th, 2010 / Interviews ]

Nick Kocz’s Dining by Candlelight is part of our March literary feast. He talks with us about crippling addictions, weird things we put in our mouths and seduction soundtracks.

What have you been addicted to that could have crippled you financially/emotionally?

I wouldn’t say I was addicted, “addicted” after all being such a loaded term. Full of icky value judgments and whatnot.

“Woozled” is the term I prefer.

What is the weirdest thing you’ve put in your mouth?

I ate a liverwurst sandwich the other day. Does that count?

What music would you use to seduce a candle?

Regrettably, not even the loosest candle is seducible through music, or such has been my sad experience. Candles care not a fig for music. You would think torch music would work, but no. Not even The XX has an effect on them.

Instead, you must woo a candle the old-fashioned way: sweet compliments, roses, and a bottle of Thunderbird. Or maybe malt liquor, if you’re feeling extravagant.

Why do you not blog?

Because I’m a loser. As if you couldn’t tell.
Actually, I wouldn’t mind blogging. But then I’d probably have to reveal more about that liverwurst sandwich, wouldn’t I? Which is embarrassing, because that liverwurst totally woozled me.

Out of all the power rings from Captain Plant & The Planeteers, which ring would you most likely like to have? Why?

Fire trumps. Who cares about heart, wind or earth when you have the power to torch?

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