Ask the Author: Nate Innomi

Nate Innomi’s infectious story appears in the December issue and he talks with us about inventing disease, eye fucking and value meals.

1. What disease would you like to invent? How would one get infected with it?

Critical thought. I would not wish more disease on humanity, but cognition – we could use more of that. Critical thought would infect through burger grease, snack cakes and light beer. It would stimulate blood vessels in the brain, open the eyes and motivate its host. The infected would out-think their regular consumption of shit food products, eat organic, exercise regularly and fervently work towards their life goals.

On second thought, I would invent the virus that turns civilization into a moaning hoard of zombies. It is already in the water and I am stocked with ammunition.

Zombies are a great fantasy for misanthropic rage.

2. Why did you choose your protagonist to be diseased? What was the significance of it when you were building “Drive-Thru”?

I did not choose – Andrea exists. She was the drive-thru teller for my last (final) fast food experience. Sometimes it is quite remarkable how a body of work is inspired. This was not remarkable – it was disgusting; the body was a pale, malnourished mass of dripping snot that handed me food.

My infectious-waste-spewing muse is an allegory for my view of the corporate burger machines. They haphazardly dispense disease and view their customers as mindless zombies with ever-expanding stomachs.

3. Which value meal is your favorite?

My favorite value meal is my daily lunch which consists of:

1. Brown paper bag
2. Ziplock sandwich bag containing two slices of bakery bread, four pieces of meat and one slice of cheese
3. Two oranges or one apple

On the occasion that I forget my lunch, I have a short list of places with an open view to their kitchen. Watching my food be properly, hygienically prepared gives me a chubby.

4. Who or what would you like to rob? How would you rob that person or place or thing

People and places should not be robbed. Inanimate objects – like ATMs – are cool to steal from.

One time I found a twenty on the sidewalk. I totally robbed the shit out of that sidewalk and would rob it again.

5. What do you like eye-fucking?

I used to talk about skull-fucking my friends a lot. After one such occasion, one of my more malicious friends registered myname.com and myname.blogspot.com. He then proceeded to quote my more crass statements on said site. Google-bots, crawlers and Yahoo slurps later, the site was number one when my name was searched.

It took months to fix this.

6. How would you taint this interview?

Tainting is easy; apply verb, genitals and allude to abstractly relevant fetish:

I would offer you a giant flat-screen at zero percent APR.

No.

I would whip out my dick and put bacon grease all over it.