John Jodzio’s wonderful, resonating piece, “This Is All The OrientationÂ You AreÂ Gonna Get”, appears in the September Issue. Here, John speaks with us regarding hands, eyes and The Bucket.
1. If you were a cookie doctor, what would be your field of specialization?
Probably Urology.Â I would try to finally find a cure for cookie prostate cancer.
2. What made you choose the second person narration for “This Is All the Orientation You Are Gonna Get”?
I wrote the first line “Tell your customers they have pretty hands, even if they donâ€™t, especially if they donâ€™t” and everything sort of flowed from there. I think it is really hard to sustain second person narration for very long, but think this way was the only way to tell this story that made sense.
3. When else I should use a bucket?
You should use the bucket for every crisis and complication, no matter how big or small, that occurs in your life.Â I can totally vouch for how well it smooths out the rough edges of your day.
4. How do you get a donkey on a city bus?
I have no idea.Â I made that joke up and it doesn’t have a punchline.Â I do know, from doing some work in elementary schools, know how to get Pikachu on a bus.Â You Poke-Em-On!Â Ha!Â Sorry.Â Â
5. Has making eyes at people worked for you in getting free drinks?
Never.Â But that’s probably because of my dowager’s hump.
6. Do I have pretty hands?
Wow — your hands are fucking exquisite.