Ask The Author: Catherine Campbell

Catherine Campbell’s “Ways To Swim” was published in December. Now, Catherine takes the time to answer some questions.

1. What CD would you include in an insemination kit?

Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

2. Who would you carry a baby for?

Across the street? Well, anyone I suppose. In this uterus? The shortlist would include: my two sisters, a couple of close friends and Kate Winslet.

3. Why are men abandoning their children in fiction? Why can’t women do it more often?

Men have to go fight dragons and shit. Women…wait. You know what? There’s no reason why women can’t abandon their children in fiction—liberation is at hand! Female characters, leave those needy bastards in the crawlspace with some Cheerios and a jug of milk and go fight some dragons! It’s for equality!

4. What Hitchcock movie would you watch to prepare for pregnancy?

I think “The Birds” is rather horrific but also appropriate, especially one of those last scenes, where the birds are completely surrounding them by the hundreds. It’s a new world, there’s no single explanation or answer for it, you’ve got this entity, this alien being, focused completely on you, it needs you and you have no idea what the hell you’re in for.

At least, that’s how I felt when I was pregnant with my son. He and I doing pretty damn good nowadays.

5. What kind of fire do you enjoy breathing?

I enjoy a nice 2010 lamp oil blend.

6. Am I the father?

Did you get those papers in the mail?