Ask the Author: Brandi Wells
[Roxane Gay / August 27th, 2010 / Interviews ]We were excited to have Brandi Wells make another appearance in PANK and today she talks with us about special words, awkward photos and much more.
1. How awkward would it be to have a blown up photo of your parents shoving each others genitals in each others mouths on the living room wall? Â How much therapy would it take to get that image out of your head?
Quite awkward. I would promptly remove it from the wall and never speak of it again. Nor would I ever again engage in sexual activity.
2. What tips would you give your past self about your first kiss?
Probably would tell myself to skip that first one. Or the first couple hundred. Could I go back in time and be my own first kiss? Is that okay?
3. Which condom brand is the best to have left inside you after  your  lover falls asleep in the middle of hot action?
If only my “lover” has fallen asleep I assume I would be able to remove the condom, regardless of brand.
4. How are you going to educate your children about sex?
I don’t want children. I have neutered/spayed every pet I’ve ever had so I would probably take a similar tack.
5. What is your safe word?
When I was a child my mother told me the secret word was “sandwich.” She emphasized that this word was to be used in case of kidnapping but I never really understood. I hope that “sandwich” still works if I ever need it.
6. Alabama? Have you had a sip of the Roll Tide Kool Aid yet?
I’ve been told it’s important to chant “go elephants” and “we belong!”Â
I am enjoying Alabama. Riverboat cruise, hula hoop parties in the street, rats in my house. All the best sorts of things.