All Things Pankish

It’s My Two Cents: Prog, Abdul, HTMLG, Elaine’s, Fence

I gave up on objecting sentences with “however” after reading the Language Log. Not that I feel good about it…I guess someday I will have to sit down and actually listen to the Zombies box set, rather than saying I have it…I’ve worn lipstick twice in my life. Both ended with fistfights…When did prog rock bands go pop? Some say Genesis circa ABACAB, others Asia circa Asia. Me, I think Peter Gabriel made it happen…I can say it now without shame: I prefer watching Friends reruns to Seinfeld ones…Don’t make abortion jokes with your dentist, at least when he has a diploma from a Christian college on the wall and he’s shaving down your molar…I was mugged once in Williamsburg, Brooklyn in broad daylight. My neighbors watched…How many times does iTunes need to have a new version?…No one from Portland, Oregon seems to answer emails from me, except for one lady I had a crush on. I guess my love is powerful…I wish my cats would die…Always bring travel Tucks pads when you travel. I won’t tell you why…When Paula Abdul finally joins So You Think You Can Dance, I will become the gayest I have ever been…I went to Elaine’s one night a couple of months ago and started to slow dance with a male friend. Elaine stood up and stopped us…If people figured out how powerful push-ups are, gyms would go out of business…The “Pull My Finger” game is essential entertaining…Did you know Living Colour is touring right now?  You should…What is the cool way to wear a scarf these days?…When things get complicated, I always say the situation is “like a Russian novel.”  I am not sure if that resonates with anyone, but it does with me…What’s the next retrokitsch singer-songwriter obsession?  First it was Burt Bacharach, then Jimmy Webb, then?…My vote, although it’s not that applicable, is for Perez Prado…My two-year-old daughter saw me in the shower last month, pointed between my legs and shouted “Daddy-gina!”…If I hear Etta James’ “At Last” one more time, I am going to drop a mossy brick into my local coffee shop’s front window, Do the Right Thing-style…Is HTMLGIANT the prose Foetry? Is it that transparent when people on a blog plug each other’s writing?…I don’t see how guys can wear light blue shirts without sweating through them in the summer…Paula Bohince’s first book, Incident at the Edge of Bayonet Woods, is superb—and that has nothing to do with our working together as writing tutors at Lang College…Speaking of Lang, my old employer, I initially thought it was called Eugene Landy College… Remember when the Doobie Brothers were on What’s Happening?…I think David Lehman is a pretty darn good watercolor painter…There should be more French rap on the radio…Insert New Jersey joke here…People always pick on Fence. I picked on Fence once upon a time. But here’s the catch: Fence is great…Also: I like The Strokes, always liked The Strokes, probably always will…I miss seeing my old shrink, Dr. F…Any day now, I’ll be the father of two daughters.

Daniel Nester’s latest book is How to Be Inappropriate, a collection of mostly humorous nonfiction, which is out now. He teaches at The College of Saint Rose in Albany, NY. Photo by Joe Putrock.