You Should Know

Going crazy is more subtle than you’d think. You won’t notice until going becomes gone. I’m telling you because it’s probably good to pay a little more attention. It’s harder to pretend from this side.

I know when I tipped to past tense. I sat on the toilet and broke in half, maybe more. I’ve rubber banded myself ok for now. The pieces don’t match up exactly but close enough. This might be helpful information.

Tuesdays are quiet. If you don’t make them louder, you might invite the tiny, final earthquake that turns cracks to holes. You should remember that early Tuesday nights are different from late Saturdays and maybe go to bed instead. The fault line shifted when he left, right after, like always. Sometime in the night or morning, I emptied the condom I found in the trash and made it irrelevant.

You really should pay attention because you’ll forget important things. I wasn’t sure if it was wispy memory or dream. Be careful when you feel this way. You ought to consider calling someone. Maybe see a doctor and tell her about the pieces. Maybe get a pill to put you in reverse.

I’m keeping it secret until I can’t. I won’t answer late night calls. The rubber bands will have to stretch. They could break, thick brown chunks snapping back to their original lengths, scattered under the couch and bed and just gone. You might want to be on the lookout. It could be a good thing to know.